The Heartache I Carry

The heartache I carry
Has a small built, 
Tanned skin, 
Kind soul, 
Brown eyes staring quietly.

The heartache I carry is a story,
From the land of the rising Sun. 
Inside my grandma's belly, 
Crossed the ocean by ship to Brazil.

His destiny set in ancestral stone
Of religion and duty. 
I heard stories of poverty, 
Growing too fast, 
And being a estrange Japanese boy, 
Surrounded by loud Latinos
In blistering tropical heat.

His lover is the most beautiful woman I know. 
Together, they're heroes of a love story
I read nowhere.
One that brought me here, 
To the world of love & pain. 

The heartache I carry is a story
Where the land of samba & folly
Meets traditions far from its own. 

I heard of three months of soul-deep connection, 
A rushed marriage. 
The naive 22-year-old 
Leaving behind all she knew
To follow her beloved
To the upside down of her world. 

The heartache I carry
Is a flamboyant woman
With bountiful breasts and a big smile
She sings like a bird, her favourite Brazilian songs. 

In this love story, 
The to be monk falls in love with the forbidden woman. 
Family is torn apart, 
Friends are left behind,
The heroes leave with nothing but rage and a 12-week pregnancy.

The heartache I carry
Is my own. 
One I carry with pride & gratitude 
The bittersweetness of being 
Multiple, multicural. 
Daughter of forbidden love, 
Lineage of ancestral healing. 

My heartache is the pain, 
That only someone that loves & has been loved this much will ever know. 
The mystifying feeling 
Of reverence, 
And fear that the ghosts from the past
Will haunt the people I love most forever. 

The heartache I carry, 
Is the cold of the outcast, 
The pain of indifference. 

The heartache I carry
Is an immigrant treasure,
A pilgrim path, 
My search for home 
A place to land on.

Where a different body,
The color of our skin,
The customs of our race, 
Are strong bridges for our crossing, 
Balms for the soul, 
Something to soothe... 

This endless
Collective
Heartache.